Whew – what a week it has been. Lots of highs and lots of lows and a lot going on (which is awesome). I finally found some time to go to the gym, and while I was there, I found myself playing the comparison game. You know what game I’m talking about – it’s the one where you look at other people’s lives, and you think that they have everything better than you and that you’re not good enough. That damn game. We compare ourselves to other people, and in return, we feel unworthy.
So stop it. Stop the comparison. It’s keeping you from self-love. You’ve got to turn your comparison into compassion. Because comparison is lack (I’m not good enough) and compassion is love and abundance (I’m worthy). And the more you compare – the more joy you steal from your life. So if you’re ready to turn your comparison into compassion, here are a few steps to take.
1. Get Perspective: whenever you find yourself in comparison mode you need to change your perspective. What I mean be this is that you never know someone else’s entire story. They may look good on the outside and on social media, but you don’t know what they are struggling with or what they have going on. That person that you’ve been idolizing for their “perfect family photos” and huge mansion may be struggling with depression or a dying family member. You just never know. That’s why it’s important to remind yourself of this. It will switch your perspective immediately from comparison to compassion.
2. Practice Gratitude: practicing gratitude is so important. It reframes your mindset from thinking about what you lack into thinking about what you have. This is part of my morning routine – every morning I wake up, drink my coffee and write my gratitude in my journal. It helps set the tone for my day. It also shields you from the comparison game. When you practice gratitude and have so much appreciation for the things in your life – then you’re less likely to play the game.
3. Remove the Triggers: I used to get really triggered on social media. I would scroll and scroll and scroll and feel worse and worse and worse about myself. Now – if you’re practicing steps 1 and 2 and eventually 4, then this won’t be as big of an issue. However, there will be some people that just trigger the fuck out of you no matter what. So my suggestion is that you unfollow them. You can stay friends, but you don’t have to see all of their updates that trigger you. I had to do this with a lot of fitness people that I was following. It wasn’t their fault – but their posts were triggering my body shame, so I had to unfollow.
4. Be Curious: be curious about why you’re playing the comparison game. What I mean is – when you are comparing yourself to someone else, it’s because you’re being triggered by something much deeper. When I’m comparing myself to other women’s bodies, it’s because my body shame is being triggered. This is a signal that I still have work to do on healing myself and my body shame. So don’t get down on yourself when you find yourself in a similar situation. Just know that it’s a signal that you need to heal that part of yourself. And the more you heal yourself, the better.
So instead of practicing comparison, try practicing compassion – toward yourself and toward others. Compassion is much better anyways.
Love and light,